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jasonfischer(POSSIBLE SPOILER MATERIAL)
Jason: Okay, so the first movie was a crime against my childhood. I'm sure they've ironed out the bugs in the second instalment.
Jason's Brain: Dude, it's a Michael Bay film. You're officially stupid for sitting in this seat.
Jason: Hmm. There's an awful lot of explosions in this film. Hang on, there' s some sort of story here too....he...goes to college for about 5 minutes...um....transforming robots were here at the dawn of time...for some reason. Oh shit, something else blew up. Who was that? Was that a good robot or a bad one? Brain, help me out here.
Jason's Brain: I'm serious. This movie's fucking stupid. I knew this 30 seconds into it.
Jason: Hang on. Didn't it start....the robots were after....but now they.....oh wait, there's Megan Fox's funbags again.
Jason's Brain: THEY ARE DISTRACTING YOU WITH TITS. I'm losing braincells by the second.
Jason: Why is Isabel Lucas interested in Shia LeBouf? Oh man, I knew it! She's a robot slut, programmed to "probe" him for information..
Jason's Brain: Now they are distracting you by putting tits ON a robot. What are you, 12?
Jason: Why are they airdropping US soldiers directly into Egypt, without any sort of international permission or cooperation, based on a long-distance phone call from a disgraced secret agent? Why is there a sun-destroying device in the Great Pyramid? How come the pyramid and the sphinx are nowhere near Giza? Did Michael Bay rearrange Egypt?
Jason' Brain: That's it. I'm LEAVING. You can stay, I'll be out in the lobby.
Jason: WHEEEEEE the robots are fighting! PEW PEW PEW oh look some more boobies hahahaha BANG BANG BANG that robot just smashed the other one, YAAAYY!!
Jason's Brain: [Silence]
Oh, Michael Bay. You're the dumbest man alive, or some sort of secret genius.
No, you're posing topless for a photo with Mike Tyson and a Playboy girl. Turns out you're just dumb.
Jason: Okay, so the first movie was a crime against my childhood. I'm sure they've ironed out the bugs in the second instalment.
Jason's Brain: Dude, it's a Michael Bay film. You're officially stupid for sitting in this seat.
Jason: Hmm. There's an awful lot of explosions in this film. Hang on, there' s some sort of story here too....he...goes to college for about 5 minutes...um....transforming robots were here at the dawn of time...for some reason. Oh shit, something else blew up. Who was that? Was that a good robot or a bad one? Brain, help me out here.
Jason's Brain: I'm serious. This movie's fucking stupid. I knew this 30 seconds into it.
Jason: Hang on. Didn't it start....the robots were after....but now they.....oh wait, there's Megan Fox's funbags again.
Jason's Brain: THEY ARE DISTRACTING YOU WITH TITS. I'm losing braincells by the second.
Jason: Why is Isabel Lucas interested in Shia LeBouf? Oh man, I knew it! She's a robot slut, programmed to "probe" him for information..
Jason's Brain: Now they are distracting you by putting tits ON a robot. What are you, 12?
Jason: Why are they airdropping US soldiers directly into Egypt, without any sort of international permission or cooperation, based on a long-distance phone call from a disgraced secret agent? Why is there a sun-destroying device in the Great Pyramid? How come the pyramid and the sphinx are nowhere near Giza? Did Michael Bay rearrange Egypt?
Jason' Brain: That's it. I'm LEAVING. You can stay, I'll be out in the lobby.
Jason: WHEEEEEE the robots are fighting! PEW PEW PEW oh look some more boobies hahahaha BANG BANG BANG that robot just smashed the other one, YAAAYY!!
Jason's Brain: [Silence]
Oh, Michael Bay. You're the dumbest man alive, or some sort of secret genius.
No, you're posing topless for a photo with Mike Tyson and a Playboy girl. Turns out you're just dumb.
